BDSM and Informed Consent using Up-goer Five language

(Originally posted @ my Fetlife account)

The Up-Goer Five Text Editor (inspired by this xkcd post) challenges people to explain hard ideas using only the ten hundred most commonly used words. This is what I came up with to explain BDSM and informed consent:

***

Some people like to feel pain and some people like to cause pain. Some people like to be tied up, and some people like to do the tying up. Often, people who like pain also like to be tied up and people who like causing pain like to tie people up, but this is not always true. Some people have fun being told what to do by someone they love and other people have fun by telling people they love what to do.

When a person who likes to be told what to do and a person who likes to tell them what to do agree to a relationship where the telling-what-to-do person tells the wants-to-be-told person what to do, they like it a lot and feel very happy and close to one another. Sometimes the wants-to-be-told agrees that the telling-what-to-do person can also hurt them because sometimes the telling-what-to-do person is also a likes-to-cause-pain person. Sometimes the wants-to-be-told person agrees because they are also a likes-to-feel-pain person and sometimes they agree because even though they do not like being hurt, they like the feeling they get by being told to be hurt. This means that they like the way they feel before they are hurt and after they are hurt because they have done what they were told to do. Some want-to-be-told people don’t like to feel pain at all for any reason.

Usually a likes-to-feel-pain person only likes some kinds of pain and doesn’t like other kinds of pain. It is important that a likes-to-cause-pain person knows which kinds of pain are okay and which are not okay for the likes-to-feel-pain person to feel. This is also true of tying people up and being tied up. People who like to be tied up may have different ways that they like and other ways that they don’t like.

This means that it is important for a likes-to-feel-pain person or a wants-to-be-told person (called a bottom), and a likes-to-cause-pain person or tells-what-to-do person (called a top), to talk about what they like and don’t like, and agree on what the top can do to the bottom and can tell the bottom to do. A top must make sure that the bottom is okay in body and mind after what they do.

When a top does something that a bottom does not like, this is very bad. Sometimes a top doesn’t mean to do something bad but it happens anyway. Sometimes a bottom doesn’t know it will be bad to start with and only finds out when they are already doing it. When this happens, a safe-word can be used so that the top knows something is wrong and can stop and help to make it better.

When fun tying-up or causing-pain or telling-what-to-do things are done because the top and bottom agreed on them being done, and things that were agreed not to be done are not done, then this is can be very good. But when they are not done this way, then they are bad.

It is also very important that everyone knows what the things they are agreed on mean so that there are no bad surprises and no one feels bad kinds of pain. A top needs to know how to do things in a safe way so that the top does not hurt the bottom in bad ways whether in the body or the mind.

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About ValeryNorth

I overthink everything.
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