Shearing shortcomings

This is just a quick follow-up to yesterday’s post. All the things that are annoying or awkward about shaving my body!


I mentioned I set aside an afternoon for the job. That’s because it takes two or three hours to do and it’s not really something you can pause in the middle of. I don’t know if it would take much less time if I remembered to shave it more often, but the fear is that it wouldn’t shave that much off the duration each time (see what I did there?) Nevertheless, I am sure that this time I will make the effort to find out. Maybe.

Missing patches

I already talked about how there are bits of my body I can’t reach to shave myself. But a big problem, especially when I’m getting rid of vast quantities, is that I can’t always see how effective my razor stroke has been; and sometimes the thickness of the hair means the razor can’t catch all of it. Meaning that, as I rinse off later, I find isolated patches where the hair is just as long as before. Not pretty!

Down the Drain

Because there is so much of it when I get around to doing it, it forms huge clumps that block the plughole (or the drain, as the shower is better for doing the lower body). Fortunately, they don’t block it way down the pipe, just catch in the metal grille at the top. But it’s still awkward. I have to scoop it up and dump it somewhere else, several times over, lest the sink (or shower base) overflow. This inevitably means then picking up the hairs that stuck to my feet and deposited across the floor. It’s a messy business, this.


Putting a sharp blade and running it over my skin runs the risk of drawing blood. The more strokes, the higher the risk. I take care but am by no means expert enough (even when doing my face) to be completely confident of getting away with it. Invariably, given the large surface area to cover, something gets nicked. It’s a higher risk when I’m reaching into hard-to-see patches (like the back of the knee) or where there isn’t as much “give” under the skin (knobbly knees, wrists, elbows, mainly). The back of the wrist seems especially prone to the slight nick.

The first time I ever did my legs, I made a right mess of it, and my right leg required several sticking plasters. Some time later (I can’t honestly remember if it’s weeks or months) the same pattern re-emerged, this time in the form of an infection. You can STILL see the pattern today, because the infection left scars. I can’t say for certain the infection was caused by the cuts, but equally, the similarity of the pattern of cuts to the patches of infection seem to make it likely.

I’ve got a lot better since then (and take much better care of the small cuts that still happen) so that was the last time it was that bad, but all the same. And i don’t like types of SM play that break the skin (needles or cutting) so it’s much less fun.

Growing Back

It feels wonderful for a few days. Then I get all-over body stubble. And the hairs look TOUGH! I mean, like Jeff Goldblum when he first starts turning into The Fly in that movie. And it itches. Just for a few days, I feel like an itchy Fly. This should probably be the motivation to get that electric shaver on the job, but what usually happens is I just scratch a bit and wait for it to grow out. And after a few days, it does and it stops itching.

* * *

It’s worth all these downsides and I really owe it to myself to do better at maintaining the shave (which would actually offset some of these issues, too). The reasons why I value it so much were covered in the previous post; the point of this is to illustrate how much I value it when I have it (and to explain that it’s not all fun and happiness to get there, for those who have no frame of reference).


About ValeryNorth

I overthink everything.
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