Boobs and bras, an Odyssey

On Wednesday, I tweeted that I “felt my sexiest ever” and was “very excited”. I was going to save explaining why until the excitement phase had settled down into pure “yay”ness, but it turns out that will take longer than planned.

Over the Christmas period, I received (as is often the case) gifts of money from friends and relatives who seem to find it hard to choose for me, and prefer to see what wonderfulness I get for myself. The biggest buy this year – the one that gets shown everyone – is a new machine-washable suit jacket, which makes me look very good indeed (I picked that up on Thursday).

The bit I haven’t shown anyone yet is that I bought breast enhancers from a trans/CD supplier. I was surprised at how expensive full breast forms are, and quickly realised I couldn’t go there. But I have some natural breast tissue (and fat) providing me with small breasts of my own anyway, and thought that I could probably get the look and feel I want, of having proper boobs, with the smaller “enhancer” product. So I ordered them.

They arrived on Wednesday, and I realised that I was unprepared (I’d assumed they came with body adhesive – wrong!)

I was going to need a bra as well.

When I ordered the suit jacket, I ordered a 52″ chest because this is what I have found fits; 50″ was too small, usually. What I didn’t know for sure was my underbust size (my chest size would do for the overbust, I reasoned). Time to get the tape measure!

Of course, with nothing (yet) to support my new boobs, I faced a challenge to get a new measurement for my new chest size, with them over my regular chest/breasts. After some thought, and bearing in mind the idea that a bra strap is supposed to hold most of the weight of the bosom, I came up with a solution. Once I had used the tape measure to go round under my bust and get a measurement, I found a t-shirt that was a size or two smaller than I normally wear, and which i knew would hug my body closely. I then got a trouser belt and wrapped that around my chest to the same tightness as I had felt when following the instructions online for sizing one’s bra. This provided a simulated bra strap, and the tight t-shirt held the enhancers against my skin perfectly.

That was the moment when I tweeted about feeling “sexiest ever”. I looked at myself in the mirror and said to myself, “yes! that’s the womanly figure I crave!”

So, now I took a new measure of my bust size. I seemed an inch bigger: 53″. With the tape measure telling me 45″ or 46″ underbust, that gave me the somewhat surprising result that I should be a D cup. I was sceptical. I remeasured my chest without enhancers, and found to my surprise that I was an inch, maybe even two, smaller than I thought.

Why is it, when you lose fat, it goes from the parts you least want it to? In fact, if I could just move the fat from my belly to my bosom, I’d be happy!

So anyway, I still didn’t know what to order online for a bra size. I needed to go somewhere in person, and if possible, try them on.

I want to give a big plug to Yours Clothing in Cambridge. I am always grateful when people are less weird about my wish to buy ladieswear or makeup for myself, than I am when I mention it. I told the saleswoman my measurements, and she even suggested I might be a DD, which seemed absurd to me but I accepted her wisdom. My male-bodiedness was a concern in that if there had been someone else in the fitting rooms, then they might have been perturbed, but there wasn’t so there was no problem. She told me to buzz if I needed a size smaller, but a ‘C’ was the smallest they had.

I liked trying on the bras. I felt a real sense of support at my back (which implies that it is the correct strap size, at least) and felt very sexy. But even with the C cup, there was room to spare. I felt embarrassed, and betrayed by my tape measure.

Regardless, I’ll repeat the plug: Yours was the only shop I found with very large strap sizes in the sexy rather than frilly styles I was hoping to find; and they were very helpful (and apologetic they couldn’t help). They suggested somewhere else to try, and that was that (although I then realised I didn’t know where that store was).

The story does not end there. Once I got home, I thought about it again, and realised that I needed something stretchy and chest-hugging, like a boobtube. Something purposely designed to work like my too-tight t-shirt and belt improvisation had done. To the Googlemobile! (Actually, the DuckDuckGomobile, but if a car made that sound, you’d get the engine checked…)

eBay proved to be the site that gave me the best outcomes, in terms of information about what I wanted. I discovered pull-on bras were the thing to look for, and possibly “bandeau” bras, which have no shoulder straps. They were also listed as S/M/L/XL etc, rather than standard bra sizes. All I needed was to discover which chest measurement (over/underbust) applied to the conversion guidelines for the sizes. A message to a seller gave me what I needed – and of course, my size was out of stock. So, reluctantly, to Amazon (*boo*, *hiss*) where, lo and behold, I discover that Yours sell the products I was now looking for!

The end of the story (I hope) will be next week, when I receive my new bras and try them on. I chose a white “pull on” bra from one vendor, and the black bandeau pull on from Yours; I was torn over which colour I wanted. The black bras I tried on in the shop were so sexy, but I would like the option (even if I never exercised it) to wear my enhanced boobs under my smart business attire, which means white or flesh colour so as not to be blatant under my white shirt. So I got two different things, in the hope that at least one will be right, and I will have one or both the options available.

If all else fails, I have a back-up plan. I could buy some too-small t-shirts (sleeveless, ideally) and cut them shorter, stitch elastic into the bottom at the underbust level, and use those. Homemade boob holders!


About ValeryNorth

I overthink everything.
This entry was posted in Body, Gender and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Boobs and bras, an Odyssey

  1. Do you do much sewing? If you go with your back-up plan, you might like to use the phrase “built-in shelf bra” if you’re going to search for more ideas/details. (Confusingly, “shelf bra” can mean either a simple built-in bra such as in exercise wear, OR a sexy open-cup bra.) I just read a book on sewing lingerie, and for a built-in shelf bra it suggested that the length of the elastic should be about 90% of your underbust measurement (though this will depend on how stretchy your elastic is). Good luck!

  2. Pingback: MAAB, disguised as a man | Valery North – Writer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s