Tag Archives: consent

What else could be done with a BDSM checklist?

So a couple of weeks ago, @waitingirl13 and I were chatting on twitter about BDSM checklists. For those who don’t know (and if so, hello and welcome!) a BDSM checklist is a long (sometimes very very long) list of kinks, … Continue reading

Posted in Kink, Sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Your Flirty Joke Is My Reality

I forget whom I saw write about how some of the ways that nonBDSM people are free to talk about sexuality while hinting at kink, or at least “vanilla with sprinkles”, but it was probably Clarisse Thorn (though it may … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Kink | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Sub power, Domly Vulnerability

Xiao Yingtai @ University of Abject Submission has been writing a fascinating series about Submissive Power, and her latest instalment is Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power. I’ve had in my “pending” file since February a piece by Xan West about … Continue reading

Posted in Kink | Tagged , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Nonconsensual CBT is a Hard Limit (Why forcing therapy on JSA is wrong)

So today I’m hearing via twitter that the Tories, and the Lib Dems, both have ideas about forcing people on Jobseekers Allowance (JSA) and other out-of-work benefits to submit to mental health treatment. The Tories are blatant about it: they … Continue reading

Posted in Economics, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Violence and BDSM assumptions

[CONTENT NOTE: abuse mindset, violent behaviour] So today on the Guardian’s Comment Is Free blog service, Emer O’Toole writes that a murder in a BDSM relationship has “made me rethink my sexual practices”. This is a sad and, if I’m … Continue reading

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Playing the hate: on being the top in a degradation scene

Content Note: Discussion of “forced fantasy”/”rape” roleplay, race play, body shaming play, slut shaming play and general topics of that nature that may be distressing to some readers. So about a week ago, University of Abject Submission published a guest … Continue reading

Posted in Kink, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Thoughts on porn in the classroom

This morning, I retweeted Girl on the Net because she felt that actually showing porn in the classroom as part of sex and relationship education was a very bad idea. This afternoon, after mulling the question over, I have reached … Continue reading

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Time for Elust 68

Photo courtesy of Molly’s Daily Kiss Welcome to Elust #68 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky … Continue reading

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SHORT STORY: “Not Paid To Like You”

The prompt for this story was the title. It conjured a couple of vignettes that I then stitched into this story. One or two points aren’t realistic, including the part with the main prompt! Specifically, in that a good sex … Continue reading

Posted in Sex, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

No one who can be silenced gets to be no-platformed

Here’s something that puzzles me about the “No platform = Silencing” thing. In order for a person to be subject to a “no platform” policy, their views must already be well-known. It is a basic tenet that “No-one has a … Continue reading

Posted in Language, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments