Tag Archives: PUA

Your Flirty Joke Is My Reality

I forget whom I saw write about how some of the ways that nonBDSM people are free to talk about sexuality while hinting at kink, or at least “vanilla with sprinkles”, but it was probably Clarisse Thorn (though it may … Continue reading

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The neediness of New Labour: what Labour can learn from dating gurus

In the debate about the future of the Labour Party, there are already people demanding a return to the policies of New Labour, which I have already discussed as a mistaken idea confusing correlation with causation. Now, I’d like to … Continue reading

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Deriving web dating from 36 Questions

In my post about the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” article last week, I wrote that, “I want to come back to this, and see if I can construct a way of using the concepts in dating. For instance, … Continue reading

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Lab-grown intimacy: does one size fit all?

The other day, I found an article from the New York Times about Arthur Aron’s experiments in intimacy, and how the writer (Mandy Len Catron) had tried it for herself. The idea is that, given the right conditions, it is … Continue reading

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I’m calling this a socialising win

Tuesday night was the Main Munch (or is it still Kinky Drinkies? I think there was a cake with a name change on it but people still use both names and I’m confused). Anyway, regardless of the name, it was … Continue reading

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Be the best from the beginning: liking their all

Girl on the Net wrote at the weekend that the best partner is one who loves the “bad” bits of you. While there are some statements in that article that give me some significant quibbles, I’m not interested in digging … Continue reading

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Auditions, musical and social

So Monday was my annual “handling rejection” practice – by which I mean, auditioning for The Voice UK. This isn’t the televised “Blind Auditions” but the process by which they decide who’s going to get onto those. The nearest venue … Continue reading

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Touch, flirting when stone-ish

One of the areas of dating advice that I have found hardest to handle is “touch shows interest”. Whether it’s the whole PUA discussion of “kino” or more feminist-oriented “how not to be creepy while dating”, the fact is, most … Continue reading

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How to keep learning, or why you should forget “Conscious Incompetence”

One thing that comes up in various forms of dating advice, including but not limited to, PUA, is the concept of “you have to get worse before you get better”. This is often expressed in terms of a cycle of … Continue reading

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People-watching, learning and storytelling

When you write stories, your subject is always (for want of a better term) “the human condition”. People, and the ways that they behave, interact, come into conflict and resolve their conflicts. Different writers and genres focus on different types … Continue reading

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