Tag Archives: relationships

Of Davros, parenting and trade-offs

RuralRover @ Counselling in Northumberland has a fascinating piece in response to an “open letter” that a mother wrote to her 10-yr-old son, publoished in the Guardian today. I haven’t read the letter and don’t really wish to address it … Continue reading

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What else could be done with a BDSM checklist?

So a couple of weeks ago, @waitingirl13 and I were chatting on twitter about BDSM checklists. For those who don’t know (and if so, hello and welcome!) a BDSM checklist is a long (sometimes very very long) list of kinks, … Continue reading

Posted in Kink, Sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Sub power, Domly Vulnerability

Xiao Yingtai @ University of Abject Submission has been writing a fascinating series about Submissive Power, and her latest instalment is Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power. I’ve had in my “pending” file since February a piece by Xan West about … Continue reading

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The non-binary of D/s

Last week, Jemima @ Sometimes It’s Just a Cigar wrote about the non-binary-ness of D/s: the false binaries of how D/s is presented. I had a few thoughts about ways in which that could be approached. She, of course, brought … Continue reading

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The Importance of Love to D/s Strength

This started as an Edit To Add on my original “D/s Emotional Vulnerability” post, but quickly got long and I decided it needed to be a separate post. Xiao Yingtai has taken the effort to work her comments on that … Continue reading

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Doms and Subs and Emotional Vulnerability

So Xiao Yingtai replied to my post on Submissive power at great length, and for this I am grateful (especially as it was costly in terms of physical health for her to do so). She pointed further to the latest … Continue reading

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Submissive power and the storms of life

Who really has the power? It’s an age-old debate within BDSM circles. Is it the Dom or the Sub? “Go not to the elves for counsel, for they shall say both no and yes.” The answer is so often given … Continue reading

Posted in Kink, Philosophy, SCW | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Deriving web dating from 36 Questions

In my post about the “36 Questions to Fall in Love” article last week, I wrote that, “I want to come back to this, and see if I can construct a way of using the concepts in dating. For instance, … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Philosophy, Science, SCW, Social so-called life | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“I see Pride, I see Power…” – Meet my Submissive Icons

(Title quote comes from the movie “Cool Runnings”, and might continue, in the context of this post, “…I see a badass Subbie who takes good care of somebody!”) After thinking about my Dom Icons last week, I felt my work … Continue reading

Posted in Gender, Kink, SCW | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Lab-grown intimacy: does one size fit all?

The other day, I found an article from the New York Times about Arthur Aron’s experiments in intimacy, and how the writer (Mandy Len Catron) had tried it for herself. The idea is that, given the right conditions, it is … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Language, Science, SCW | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments