Tag Archives: relationships

Life at 40: Middle-aged and Not Dead Yet

CONTENT NOTE: Suicidal ideation; mention of BDSM So last weekend was a big family party to celebrate my 40th birthday. My birthday was not actually this weekend, but close enough to make tacking on a party to a previously scheduled … Continue reading

Posted in Body, Dating, Economics, Kink, Music, Philosophy, Politics, SCW, Sex, Social so-called life, Sport | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Not To Choose is now available to buy!

So, 11 years after I started writing, I have finally finished a novel, designed my own cover, and published it via Smashwords. That is an epic achievement. There are so many things I have failed to complete, to see through … Continue reading

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Meanings of forgiveness

I have an issue with forgiveness. More accurately, I have an issue with understanding what people mean by forgiveness, because I keep running into articles or blogposts about forgiveness and what roles it plays, that say that the thing that … Continue reading

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Of Davros, parenting and trade-offs

RuralRover @ Counselling in Northumberland has a fascinating piece in response to an “open letter” that a mother wrote to her 10-yr-old son, publoished in the Guardian today. I haven’t read the letter and don’t really wish to address it … Continue reading

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What else could be done with a BDSM checklist?

So a couple of weeks ago, @waitingirl13 and I were chatting on twitter about BDSM checklists. For those who don’t know (and if so, hello and welcome!) a BDSM checklist is a long (sometimes very very long) list of kinks, … Continue reading

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Sub power, Domly Vulnerability

Xiao Yingtai @ University of Abject Submission has been writing a fascinating series about Submissive Power, and her latest instalment is Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power. I’ve had in my “pending” file since February a piece by Xan West about … Continue reading

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The non-binary of D/s

Last week, Jemima @ Sometimes It’s Just a Cigar wrote about the non-binary-ness of D/s: the false binaries of how D/s is presented. I had a few thoughts about ways in which that could be approached. She, of course, brought … Continue reading

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The Importance of Love to D/s Strength

This started as an Edit To Add on my original “D/s Emotional Vulnerability” post, but quickly got long and I decided it needed to be a separate post. Xiao Yingtai has taken the effort to work her comments on that … Continue reading

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Doms and Subs and Emotional Vulnerability

So Xiao Yingtai replied to my post on Submissive power at great length, and for this I am grateful (especially as it was costly in terms of physical health for her to do so). She pointed further to the latest … Continue reading

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Submissive power and the storms of life

Who really has the power? It’s an age-old debate within BDSM circles. Is it the Dom or the Sub? “Go not to the elves for counsel, for they shall say both no and yes.” The answer is so often given … Continue reading

Posted in Kink, Philosophy, SCW | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments